


I'm Never Gonna Look Back

by USMCcAnthem



Category: Glee
Genre: Because I can, Family Bonding, Fix-It, Gen, Minor Original Character(s), mentions of bullying, oc-insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:51:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7194125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/USMCcAnthem/pseuds/USMCcAnthem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Alex woke up, he knew something was wrong. It was in the smell of cooking bacon and fruity perfume and the way his body just didn't feel right. It turns out that nothing was wrong, just the world becoming right. Now he does his best to be a husband and father to most amazing people in this world for as long as he can.</p><p>A series of interconnected drabbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything was Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking of bringing an OC into the story as an actual character from the story (originally, I wanted it to be Kurt but this came from out of nowhere and just grew in my mind) and this ended up as the result. To be honest, there's less focus on the fact that Alex is an original character than there is on "fixing" the story. The story is driven by Kurt and my motivation to give him a good family. Title from "The Best Day of My Life" by American Authors.

**June 27 th, 1995**

When Alex woke up the morning that changed his life forever, he knew something was wrong. He’d always been a small, scrawny guy thanks to genetics, so when his body felt heavier and longer than usually, it triggered his panic. The smell of cooking bacon and fruity perfume did not help, as he hadn’t had breakfast cooked for him in the two years since moving out of his parent’s place and hadn’t had a girlfriend in that time either. By the time he’d gotten out of bed and headed to the bathroom to relieve himself he’d added two more facts into the ‘something is very, very wrong’ box. The first was that this definitely wasn’t his cramped apartment, no matter how he seemed to know where everything was. The second, and probably the most important, was that he wasn’t in his own body. Looking out from the mirror in the decent sized bathroom (much bigger than the postal stamp sized one he was used to) was a young, pre-balding, Mike O’Malley.

The only thing that stopped him from fainting like a little girl meeting her idol for the first time was that he had just woken up, so not all synapses were firing at a 100%.

“Burt, breakfast is ready!” An airy female voice called and he blinked a couple of times as what was said penetrated his brain.

Fact one: he was in a body that looked like a young Mike O’Malley.

Fact two: barring another man being in the house, his name was Burt.

Fact three: the only person who could have these two put feasibly together is Burt Hummel, a fictional character in the television show Glee.

Alex, now named Burt, nodded at his new reflection and went downstairs (there were stairs, which meant that he was in a house, not an apartment). He greeted the woman – who was really quite beautiful, with long brown hair, bright green eyes and a charming smile – with an automatic kiss on the cheek. “Mornin’ sweetheart,” he greeted her gruffly and she giggled.

“Good morning to you, lover bear,” she cooed at him. The scene was very domestic, and the toddler in the highchair only added to that.

“Da!” the toddler waved at him and Alex once again let his new body’s instincts guide him in giving the kid a smacking kiss on the cheek.

“Morning to you too, kiddo.”

He smiled at the woman who must be his wife – given the matching wedding bands on their left ring fingers – as she placed a plate of breakfast in front of his seat at the table. He thanked God or whoever was out there that Burt and he seemed to take their breakfast that same way, eggs fried, bacon crispy and toast lightly buttered, if only so that he could get some semblance of normal in this strange new universe he was seemingly thrown into.

The rest of his day moved in a blur of instinct and small facts that he gathered. He learned that he was, indeed, Burt Hummel husband of Elizabeth and father of Kurt. He’d gone to work and done more with cars than he’d ever done before (he hadn’t been a slouch before, but he had been no mechanic). The only thing he’d been able to do without relying on instincts was when there had been a lull in business for an hour and he’d spent it going over the shop’s (Alex was actually impressed that Burt had managed to buy his own shop at twenty-one) books. His training as an accountant had been very beneficial here, as while Burt was a very good mechanic, his skills at book keeping left something to be desired. (The business would’ve been fine, but he’d have lost a lot of money and only been able to break even instead of had a profit.) By the time he’d gotten home (he’d had some trouble remembering how to get to his new home, as he’d never been in Lima, or even Ohio, before), he was mentally and physically exhausted, but had still spent an hour or two playing with his (newly acquired) kid. He silently thanked his cousins for forcing him to babysit their kids since they’d been born, otherwise he’d have no idea how to deal with a two year old.

Once everyone had gone to bed, after a quiet love making session with his new wife that made him feel amazing and dirty at the same time, he pondered over everything. While he had little choice but to live as Burt until whoever had decided to put him here removed him or his delusion ended, he was going to do his best to be a good father and husband to the two wonderful people who lived with him. He had never been either before, and honestly hadn’t really had the desire to be, but he’d try. He’d loved Kurt on Glee, thinking that the boy was annoying, witty and extremely brave; he wanted to be a part of his development. Hopefully he’d be able to fix some of Burt’s mistakes from the show (and probably make a hundred more on his own), so that Kurt wouldn’t have to suffer as much.

With a sigh, he snuggled closer to his (new) wife and relaxed into sleep. He could do more thinking tomorrow.


	2. Sensible Heels and Opinions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt asks for a pair of sensible heels for his birthday.

**May 23 rd, 1996**

 

“Burt?” Lizzie asked as he watched the newest episode of Home Improvement, which was still as funny as it had been when he’d watched it as a child.

“Yes, Liz?” He turned to look at his beautiful wife, who was fretting at her lip in nerves. He wondered what had happened in the half hour it had taken to put Kurt to bed that had made her so worried.

“I- Burt,” she started hesitantly as she cautiously sat beside him on the couch. She took a deep breath before trying again. “What’s your opinion on gays?”

“I don’t really have one,” he said with a shrug. “It’s not really any of my business, as I’m not gay myself. Everyone has a right to love who they love, barring pedophilia.” Alex (who by this point was just as much Burt as he was Alex) had been raised by extremely accepting parents and his older sister had gone on to marry a woman when he’d graduated high school, but he had no idea what Burt had been like in high school. In the show he’d been awkward but accepting of Kurt, but he’d had years to get used to the idea of Kurt being gay (if the knowing since he was a tot being any indication), so his opinion could’ve changed over time.

After hearing what he’d said, Elizabeth seemed to sag in relief. “Good, good.”

“Why the question?” He asked, slowly getting an inkling of why.

“It’s just, Burt,” she paused and ran a hand through her hair, “I think our boy may be gay.”

“It’s a little early to tell,” Burt commented idly, “so what makes you so convinced?”

“Kurt asked for a pair of sensible heels for his birthday,” she said in a rush.

Burt blinked and said the first thing that came to mind, “Do they even have heels for toddlers?” He then paused and said in confusion, “What would constitute as ‘sensible’ anyway?”

Elizabeth let out a slightly hysterical giggle and Burt was quick to bring her to his side, rubbing her arm comfortingly as tears started to pour from her eyes. He said nothing as she sobbed, just held her close and watched the television until she pulled herself together. “We’d p-probably have to go where those crazy mom’s get their pageant outfits for their kids, but we should find something,” she said a little thickly and he nodded in agreement. They were silent for a moment, just watching as Tim Taylor talked to his neighbour over the fence, before she spoke up again, “I love you.”

He smiled and kissed the top of her head, “Love you too, Liz. And I love that bright ball of sunshine upstairs as well, no matter what.”

“Thank you,” she breathed as she cuddled a little closer into his side.

“Nothing to thank me for, beautiful.”


	3. A Bad Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burt usually is greeted with good cheer and food when coming home from work, not a fretting wife and downtrodden son, and does his best to fix it.

**September 28 th, 1999**

 

Usually when he came home from work, he would hear the cheerful giggles of his son and smell the wonderful scent of dinner being made by his wonderful wife, but today that was not the case. Instead his wife paced the living room, her forehead wrinkled and bottom lip abused from being worried at. He gave her a hug and kiss before getting her to sit down and tell him what had happened.

“I don't know,” she revealed. “Kurt came out of class with his clothes a little grass stained, weird I know,” she agreed to the eyebrow he had raised in disbelief, “and there was a frown on his face. He wouldn’t tell me anything no matter how I asked and went straight to his room when we got home and hasn’t left it since.”

He rubbed her shoulders and tried to remember what his sister’s wife would do in this situation (he’d slowly copied her behaviour over the years of being Burt, as his dad was kind of a crappy husband, despite being a good man and father). He eventually decided on pushing her towards the couch and handing her the remote. “Here, watch some mind numbing television and forget about all this for a moment. I’ll take care of dinner and we’ll try to talk to Kurt after dinner.” She nodded absently and flicked on the TV as he walked into the kitchen.

He hadn’t had to cook since he’d become Burt, Elizabeth being an at home mom and doing the majority of the chores around the house, but he did know what to do. His own mom hadn’t allowed for slackers in her house, so he’d learned how to cook, clean, grocery shop, sew and a number of other things useful in the house. So though he was a little rusty, he was able to make a quick meal of Chicken Parmesan and pasta with the chicken that had been left out to thaw by Lizzie earlier that day. “Kurt! Lizzie! Dinner’s ready!” He called from the kitchen. The sounds of the television cut off as the sound of small feet clomping down the stairs started.

“Smells good sweetie,” Lizzie said in surprise, a pleased smile on her face as she sat down at the table.

“Daddy cooked?” Kurt asked with a puzzled blink.

“That I did, little bear,” Burt agreed, patting his hair gently knowing the boy didn’t like to have his hair messed up. “So you gotta tell Daddy if it tastes yucky or not.”

“All right daddy,” Kurt nodded determinedly. They joined hands and said grace as they usually did (Lizzie being a devout, but accepting Christian) and then he picked up his fork, poking at the chicken carefully. Kurt, with clumsy movements, cut off a small piece of chicken and nibbled at it like a rabbit. He hummed thoughtfully before putting the rest of the chicken into his mouth and chewing it exaggeratedly. Once he’d swallowed, Kurt smiled up at Burt and chirped, “It’s good daddy! Almost better then mommy’s.”

“Thanks kiddo,” Burt chuckled before starting in on his own food, noting that he hadn’t used enough spices in the breading, but that it had overall turned out fine. Elizabeth obviously thought so too, as she’d showered him in praises that made him blush before giggling and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Once dinner was done and the plates had joined the other dishes in soaking in the sink, he sat down at the table again after motioning for his son to stay at the table. “So kiddo, your mom was telling me you’ve been down since you left school, you wanna tell me what happened?”

Kurt furrowed his brow, much like his mother had earlier that evening, before asking, “Daddy what’s a fag?” Burt felt sorrow for his son and rage at those who would throw this word at him, Lizzie obviously feeling the same as she gasped loudly before placing a hand to her mouth as she tried to hold back tears.

He ran a hand over his face and thought that telling him the truth would be best in this situation, instead of trying to cover it up. “It’s a bad, hurtful word used to describe homosexuals.” His wife looked at him in surprise, but didn’t contradict his statement.

“What’s a, a ho-homosesule?” Kurt frowned in concentration as he tried to say the large word.

“A homosexual is a man who likes other men instead of women,” Burt tried to explain in the simplest way possible. “Lots people don’t like homosexuals because of their beliefs, so make up bad names for them.”

“Oh,” Kurt said in understanding before asking naïvely, “Is it bad to be a ho-mo-sek-u-al?”

“No!” Lizzie burst in, shocking both Kurt and Burt with the volume of her voice, “No, honey, there’s nothing wrong with being homosexual.”

“Your mom’s right, kiddo,” Burt agreed when Kurt turned to him in confirmation. “There’s nothing wrong with a man liking a man, but people are silly and don’t understand that.”

“Okay,” Kurt agreed with a gap-toothed smile that lit the room, regaining some of his usual cheer.

“Kurt, sweetie, where did you hear that word in the first place?” Lizzie asked in concern.

Kurt’s smile dimmed a bit and he looked down at the table as he mumbled, “Ricky called me that before he pushed me.”

Lizzie and Burt shared a pained look as they realized that they weren’t the only ones who had noticed Kurt’s preferences. Burt knew that this would only be the start of bullying that would happen because of his son’s (despite being Alex, Kurt was now his son and had been for the past four years) sexual orientation.

“Kurt,” he said seriously getting the attention of son, “you need to make sure you tell me or your mother every time something like that happens. Whenever somebody says a bad word to you or pushes you. We might not be able to change or even help, but we’ll do our best and we can’t do anything if we don’t know, okay buddy? So no hiding up in your room and not tell your mom, all right?”

Kurt thought about it before nodding, “Okay daddy, I’ll tell you everything.”

“Pinkie promise?” Burt held out his pinkie to his son and ignored the twitching of his wife’s lips or the tears in her eyes.

“Pinkie promise,” Kurt agreed solemnly, twining his pinkie with Burt’s.


	4. I'm Gonna Hold Your Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth dies and Burt makes a promise.

**March 2 nd, 2001**

 

Burt felt numb as he clutched his son’s hand in his, the only point of warmth in his body as he watched his wife’s body be lowered into the ground. He’d loved her, she’d been brilliant and beautiful and so full of _life_ that it was hard to imagine her dead. God, he’d known this was coming sooner or later (the words: _‘no she’s dead, this is her son’_ rang through his head), but it had been a distant worry. The only person close to him that had died was his great grandma, and that had been more of a surprise that she’d lasted to 101 years old. But as much as he wanted to break down and cry, he couldn’t.

He looked down at his son and marvelled at how much he looked like Lizzie. Burt (he was Burt now, it was what he answered to, not Alex, no matter how much Alex made up his core) knew that his son would grow up strong and beautiful yet so easy to break as he fought for his father’s attention. Even though he’d never pictured himself as a father, he was proud to be one and loved Kurt with his whole heart. He felt proud at every A Kurt brought home and went to each and every dance recital (his boy had gotten into dance when he turned six and had excelled in every lesson). He was going to make sure he made it through this.

Later that night, after putting Kurt to bed and cleaning up after the funeral guests that had come over to give their respects (and multiple casseroles that Burt didn’t even know what to do with), he lay in bed and let the emotions roll over him.

Guilt. Fear. Rage. Sorrow. Love.

He was silent as tears streaked down his face, smelling the scent of his wife’s perfume, the same fruity scent that had told him that something was wrong six years ago and just let go.

He’d break now and put himself together in the morning. He didn’t know what Burt of the show did, but he was going to be Kurt’s rock now. He’d done everything so far for Elizabeth and Kurt, but now he’d have to try extra hard for Kurt.


	5. Sugar Cookies for the Agnostic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's nearly Christmas and Burt and Kurt bake the day away, while discussing about the one who's missing.

**December 23 rd, 2001**

 

The kitchen smelled of sugar and confectionaries, and it looked like a bakery had exploded on the counter tops. Burt, digging into his memories of baking with his mother and watching Kurt and Lizzie dance around the kitchen, had decided to go on a baking marathon. He’d left one of his employees in charge of the shop and dedicated the day to Kurt and being together. His son was covered in flour and dancing around to Christmas carols, with a small smile on his face, one that Burt tried very hard to get him to do. Since his wife had passed, Kurt no longer smiled as much as he used to. The cheer and glee he’d always been infused with had seemingly gone away with Lizzie’s death, but Burt didn’t let it get to him.

Instead he pushed his son to continue with dancing (Kurt said that he no longer wanted to do it, but Burt hadn’t let him quit, which seemed to be a good thing in the end) and had signed him up for voice lessons that he’d been initially wary about, but Kurt had flourished under the tutelage. Slowly, Kurt dragged himself out of his depression and began to talk more and enjoy life. It was hard for him, as he’d lost a couple of friends to his depression and no one wanted to hang out with him. Cruel words were thrown at him that made Burt want to go to the elementary school with his shotgun and kill all the stupid little buggers, but he refrained. He had gone to PTA meetings to try to do something about the bullying, back in Kurt’s first year at school, but it had been pointless and he’d eventually given up on changing anything in Lima. Instead he made sure to listen to Kurt and make sure his son knew that he was there for him whenever he needed.

“Daddy, can I ice the cookies now?” Kurt asked eagerly, hopping up onto the step Burt had made (with inspiration from when Alex’s grandfather had done the same) for him to reach the counter.

“Are they cool to the touch?” Burt asked and Kurt nodded quickly. “Then just let me mix up some icing and then you can do the honours of icing the sugar cookies.”

Kurt pumped his fist and Burt chuckled under his breath. He made the icing as quickly as he could, with both him and Kurt ‘test tasting’ it to make sure it was satisfactory, before he gave his son the bowl and let him ice as he wished.

As Kurt iced the cookies, Burt put a ham into the oven with some scallop potatoes that he had made from the box (because, let’s face it, he just doesn’t have the time to slave over potatoes). It barely fit in the oven and Burt thanked God that America made everything bigger or it would’ve been impossible to cook them at the same time. Frozen peas were added to a pot half-full with water and put on the stovetop, waiting for when it was closer to when the ham and potatoes would be done.

Burt swayed to the music, remembering the winter before when he’d danced awkwardly, but lovingly, with his wife as his son spun circles around them. He ached for her and her easy smile and her eternal worry, but nothing could bring her back. He was just glad that he had Kurt here with him. He smiled at his son as Kurt hummed along with the music, occasionally mumbling a word or two, and finished up dinner as his son finished icing the cookies.

Directing Kurt to clean up, he plated dinner and put it all on the table by the time it took Kurt to wash his hands. They sat down opposite of each other and Burt, still thinking of his wife, froze as he realized that they hadn’t said grace since his wife’s passing. It might be a good way to remember her, so he decided to suggest as such.

“I think we should say grace,” Burt said before Kurt could dig into his food. Kurt froze for a moment, fork raised in the air before he put it back on the table in a slow deliberate movement.

“No.” Kurt didn’t look up at him as he said the word flatly, with no emotion.

Burt blinked and asked neutrally, “And why not?”

“Because I won’t pray to a fake!” Kurt burst out, standing abruptly. “I won’t pray to a god that would decide to take away mom! Mommy prayed and look where it got her! I won’t do it! I don’t believe in Him!” Tear fell from his eyes and he brushed them away brusquely. “If I believed in Him, it meant that he took away my mommy! He took her away because I look like a faggot like everyone says! They say that He took her away because of me! I don’t want to believe in someone who would do that!”

“I don’t believe in Him either,” Burt said quietly, cutting across his son. Kurt looked at him with wide, shocked eyes. Burt said nothing for a moment, and all that was heard throughout the house was the still playing Christmas music and the ragged breaths from his son. “Sit down son.” Kurt did so timidly, still wiping at his face as tears fell. “Your mom’s death had nothing to do with you. It happened because it happened. It was not pre-determined and damn anyone who says otherwise. You’re not a faggot, no matter if you’re gay, straight, bi or asexual.

“I prayed because your mom prayed. She believed in God and was the kindest, most accepting Christian I have ever met and I hope with all my heart that she was able to go to heaven like she believed she would. I could care less about religion, but I thought it would be a nice way to honour her.” Burt took a deep breath and carefully thought about his next words. “Son, how about instead of praying to God, we pray to her? We believe in her and kindness… and her temper,” he chuckled wetly here and Kurt mimed him, remembering the rare times he’d gotten in trouble with his mom. “It’d be our way of remembering her, just thanking her for being there when we needed her and for having each other.”

Kurt was silent as he stared at his plate before he nodded, “I’d like that.”

Burt held out his hands and Kurt joined them with his and they prayed.

Elizabeth Hummel wouldn’t be forgotten, not if they could help it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have kids or younger siblings or, heck, younger cousins (that I see more than once every ten years), so I really have no idea what I'm talking about. All I have to go on are my interactions with my own parents - who are annoying and lovely in their own ways - so I apologize if this seems a little unrealistic. (But this is fiction anyway, so what can you expect?)


	6. Hero Worship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt gets a crush and Burt is not okay.

**November 25 th, 2004**

 

Kurt skipped through the house, singing some pop song that Burt couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of at the top of his lungs. He’d even made sandwiches for them to eat for dinner (the boy could bake well enough, but his cooking left little to be desired, but Burt was working on that with him). It made him suspicious of what the boy wanted. The last time he’d gone out his way to help around the house was the first time he’d asked to buy a Marc Jacobs coat, Burt had made him clean the house for the next three weeks before he would buy it for him (just because they could afford it, doesn’t mean he should get it).

Burt glanced at his son out of the corner of his eyes and mentally went through all the things that Kurt could possibly want, from the newest suit in Vogue to a snow mobile (he never said that the things made sense, now did he?). Eventually he just huffed and asked him what was up with the way he was acting.

“Oh there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me,” Kurt said airily with a dreamy smile that hit all of Burt’s daddy-danger senses. “Everything is good today.”

“Is it now?” Burt asked tepidly.

“Yes,” Kurt said with a gusty sigh. “Yes it is.”

“…I see.” He didn’t actually, but Kurt seemed unable to tell him anything.

Kurt’s smile shrank a bit, but was just as bright as before. “Dad, you know how Rick and Azimo and Chris are always picking on me?” Burt nodded, frowning at the mention of Kurt’s top three bullies. The rest of kids were just as bad with name calling, but those three went out of their way to shove and punch Kurt whenever they could. “Well there’s this new boy and he stood up for me! He told them to shove it and smiled at me before leaving! Isn’t that so nice?”

“It is,” Burt was twitching on the inside, but smiled for his son. It was nice, but he didn’t like the fact that Kurt sounded like he had a crush on the boy. Burt had been around this age when he’d first started to notice other girls, so it made sense that Kurt was the same way with other boys, but he didn’t want to grow up so soon. He wanted Kurt to go back to being five years old and adorable.

He listened for fifteen minutes as his boy waxed poetic about the new kid, but never said anything about his thoughts. Kurt was growing up, no matter what he wanted, and he’d rather that his son was okay with talking to him about anything then to have him hide and be silent for his own delusions. He was crazy enough as it is, encouraging it probably wouldn’t be the greatest idea.


	7. Knowing thy Neighbour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt learns something about their Northern neighbour and Burt'll follow him to the end of the world to make him happy.

**October 14 th, 2005**

 

“Dad! Dad!” Kurt burst into the shop with a huge grin on his face and his cheeks red as if he’d run the entire way there from school. Glancing at the clock on the wall, that was probably exactly what he’d done.

“Kurt! Kurt!” Burt teased his son as he put away the books, thankful that he had managed to complete the work first before his son barrelled in. He ducked out of his office and received the enthusiastic hug from his excited sprog. “What’s got you so titter-patted?”

Kurt wrinkled his nose at the phrase, but didn’t let it distract him. Instead he pulled off his backpack and ruffled through it, explaining as he did so. “So Mrs. Henry made us look up different governments in the computer lab and I had to look up Canada. I was really down about it because, seriously, _Canada_? That’s like the least exciting place ever and Chris got France and I was super jealous, but then I typed in Canada in Google. And seriously the most awesome thing came up!” He stood tall and brandished a piece of paper in front of him importantly while Burt tried to keep up with the rapid-fire speech. Burt tried not to frown at the fact that his son didn’t think Canada was cool (as Alex, he’d been a proud Canadian) and planned on rectifying that soon, with some good ole television.

“See, see!” Kurt pushed the paper proudly into his hands and Burt skimmed over it quickly, smiling when he realized what it was about. “Canada legalized same-sex marriage in July! It’s actually legal and accepted in the entire country! Can you believe that?”

“I can,” Burt said with a grin. “That’s great kiddo. Give it enough time and we’ll be following in their footsteps.” Kurt giggled and Burt patted him on the shoulder. “Do you want to help me out in the shop for the rest of the day before we head out for a celebratory dinner or do you want to do your homework in the office?”

Kurt gently took the paper back, his smile still shining from his face, “I think I’ll help you out. Just let get changed and put my stuff away.”

“Okay kiddo, see you in a bit.” Burt watched his son walk to the back before turning to his employees who were all watching with smiles themselves.

“That’s great news, ain’t it Burt?” Greg, one of his oldest employees and one of his closest friends said with a large grin. “Equality for him, no matter what happens.”

“Though if he gets married in Canada, you’d be far away from him,” Michael – whose nose had been broken one too many times in that stupid fight club that met up every so often, but who had to be one of the nicest guys Burt had ever met (even as Alex) – commented with a frown.

“If he moves to Canada, I’d follow ‘im,” Burt said gruffly. “I don’t got no loyalty to a town that won’t let him marry who he wants.”

“As long as you leave me the shop, you can do whatever the hells you wish, Burtie,” Greg said with a chuckle, before turning back to Honda he was working on. Michael following suit to tinker with the Chevy he was changing the oil of. Burt released a chuckle of his own before turning to greet his son and usher him over to the old clunker that Mr. Jones had brought in earlier that day in the hopes that Burt could get a couple more miles out of the old piece of crap.

“Come on kiddo, let’s see if we can get this thing running,” he said to his son, who was still grinning.

“Well, if running means crawling, it might be possible,” Kurt said cheekily and Burt let out a loud belly laugh before patting his son on the shoulder companionably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canada gained full marriage equality on July 10th, 2005 and when Stephen Harper was made PM the next year he did a revote and the bill was passed in full. (As a result of this, I didn't realize that it wasn't a thing everywhere until the whole Prop 8 thing went on in '08).


	8. I'm Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt comes out to his dad and Burt is a super dad.

**May 5 th, 2007**

 

“Daddy?” Kurt asked, curled into himself on the couch as if to make himself smaller. He was wearing some fancy clothing like the stuff he’d worn on the show, and he didn’t understand it any better than the Burt on the show did. All he could do was make sure that Kurt worked for his clothes with many hours at the shop or helping out around the house. As a result, Kurt had taken up sewing and Burt knew that he made a lot of his so-called ‘designer’ clothes.

"Yeah kiddo?” He turned to look at his son and immediately gave him his complete attention when he saw the same worrying signs that his mom would give: brow furrowed and lip bitten to the point of being raw and bruised. “What’s wrong?”

Kurt shook his head, “N-nothing’s wrong daddy.” Burt tactfully refrained from pointing out that Kurt hadn’t called him daddy since he was nine, so that he was doing so now was worrying in itself.

“Well, something’s worrying you, if nothing else.”

Kurt pulled his legs up to his chest and leaned against the armrest of the couch, as if trying to put as much distance between Burt and him as he could. “I…” he started only to shake his head. “Daddy, I… I’m gay.”

Burt wasn’t really sure what to say to that. Saying ‘I know’ would probably be insensitive, despite it being the truth, but what else could he say? “Okay,” apparently that was the best his brain could come up with.

“Okay?” Kurt repeated, blinking rapidly and unfurling from his defensive position. “Dad, I just told you I was gay.”

Burt nodded slowly, as if moving fast would cause Kurt to blow up. “I know.”

“I, you don’t care?” He asked in bewilderment.

“Of course not,” Burt said with a small smile. “Being gay, bi, straight or asexual doesn’t change that you’re Kurt. I love you and I’d still love you even if you decided that you loved animals instead of people. It’d be weird,” he conceded while his son continued to look flabbergasted. “But as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Kurt made an unintelligible sound and launched himself at Burt, wrapping his arms tight around his father’s shoulders. Burt held him tightly and let his son sob into his shoulder. His sniffed lightly as his own eyes teared up, but didn’t let them fall. He was so proud and happy that his son was able to come out to him, despite being so afraid that he might not support him. He knew that the Burt of the show had loved Kurt, but that Kurt had told Mercedes and his other friends before his dad had always bothered Burt back when he’d been Alex. His sister had told their parents first before telling him (actually, she’d come to his room and said, ‘I’m going to have sex with girls now too, don’t hit on them,’ but the thought was there), her friends hadn’t known until much later.

Kurt eventually pulled away, wiping at his eyes and nose with little care to how it damaged his clothes. He curled up beside Burt and they watched the TV for a bit (they were watching Supernatural, which was the only show they could agree on, Burt liking it for the plot and action while Kurt just liked Jensen Ackles).

“Dad, would mom have been okay with me?” Kurt asked quietly as a commercial break came on.

Burt chuckled as he remembered the conversation they’d had nearly ten years ago. “Kurt, your mom came to me when you were three and asked my opinion about gays. She figured out that you liked boys before anyone else,” Burt smiled down at his son and hugged him tight to his body in comfort. “She was terrified that I wouldn’t accept you. I could tell that if I hadn’t answered exactly like I had, she probably would’ve left with you and I would’ve never seen you guys again.”

 “How’d you answer?”

“I think I said something about not really having an opinion. I don’t really care much about sexual orientation, you like who you like and what you do with it is nobodies business but yours,” Burt shrugged. “Your orientation doesn’t define you any more than having blue eyes or blond hair, but some people care too much about those sorts of things and make a big deal out of nothing.”

Kurt nibbled on his lip as the show started up again and they said nothing about the topic until it finished. Once the end credits started to roll, he spoke up once more, “That’s a nice way of thinking, I wish more people would be like that.”

“So do I kiddo, so do I,” Burt agreed. “And your mom thought much of the same. She loved you with her whole heart, son; never doubt that. She would’ve walked through fire for you and the principal at your elementary school had his ears blistered more than once from her tirades about how you were bullied.”

“Not that you didn’t help,” Kurt added slyly.

Burt winked at his son, “’Course not. I just sat in the corner and held her purse.” They both shared a laugh at that before falling back into silence. Burt frowned at TV, “What the heck is this show?”

Kurt burst out laughing, clutching at his gut before he fell off the couch “Oof,” he breathed out and Burt snorted.

"You okay down there?”

Kurt glared at him, but his mouth twitched upwards as he scrambled back up onto the couch. “Shut up.”

Burt raised his hands in defense, “Not saying anything.”

Kurt’s eyebrows rose, but let him off easy, snuggling into his side again. “Love you dad,” he said quietly.

Burt kissed his head and said, “Love you too kiddo.” They settled comfortably on the couch and Kurt began to explain to him the sheer stupidity that was American Dad.


	9. The Sex Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burt gives Kurt an impromptu sex talk and it's about as awkward as you would think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING!** This chapter get's a little in depth about gay sex, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please ignore/skip this chapter.

**October 14 th, 2007**

 

“Dad, why do the guys in school always laugh when the number 69 is said?” Kurt asked curiously while they were enjoying the unseasonably warm afternoon on the back deck playing cards.

Burt almost choked on his water, but managed to swallow before he could spit it out on his son. He placed the bottle down on the table with exaggerated care before folding his hands in front of his face as he thought over his answer. “Well kiddo, it’s because they’re immature boys. Heck, if Michael or Greg see the number 69, they’ll giggle like school boys and they’re grown ass men.” Kurt burst out laughing and he soon joined in before he remembered that he hadn’t really answered the question. “But the real reason,” he started when his son calmed down, “is because it’s referring to a sex position.”

Kurt’s face went flame red, but it seemed he couldn’t stop himself from blurting, “There’s more than one position?”

“I- yes, there’s more than one.” Burt blinked in surprise at the naivety of his son. By twelve Alex had already started on porn (mostly by raiding his sister’s computer, meaning it was mostly bi and lesbian porn… not that it turned him off of it, of course) and had a deep fascination in the act. Heck, he’d been one of those guys saying 69 and giggling like an idiot. “Number 69 is when you and your partner give oral to each other at the same time.”

Kurt’s mouth opened and closed, as his face seemed to go an even deeper red, if that was possible.

“Breathe Kurt,” Burt reminded him as he placed his cards on the table face down. “There’s no need to be so embarrassed. Sex is sex, and I don’t begrudge you for being curious. I was at your age, though I was sneaking porn instead of talking to my parents. They sure as hell were happy enough to leave my sexual education to my school.” And hadn’t that been an experience. Mr. Woody the phallic shaped piece of wood had been the brunt of many jokes, as had Josh, who’d had to put the condom on it. “If you have any questions, you can just ask me. Or if you don’t feel comfortable, just look it up on the Internet…” Burt paused and thought about what would be coming up in the next few years before saying with a shudder, “Just never look up blue waffles. It has nothing to do with actual waffles and… just don’t.”

By this time, his son had started to breath a little easier and was now looking at his dad with one eyebrow cocked. “All right,” he agreed slowly.

“Good,” Burt chimed with a decisive nod of his head.

“Just… dad, how much do you actually know about gay sex? Because as great as it is for you to offer and all, it won’t be hetero sex I’d be asking about.” Despite his calm voice, his hands shook before he set down his cards and folded his hands together tightly.

“I know more than you’d think or probably want to know.” Oh, the wonders of porn, an Internet connection and damnable curiosity. He’d learned more about anal sex, masturbation and oral in one day then the couple weeks of sex ed at school had ever taught him. “How much do you know about gay sex?”

Kurt scrunched up his nose and looked down at his hands in discomfort as he answered. “Not much… I only know that one guy takes it and another gives it and that it has to do with your, um, butt.”

“The correct term for that is anal sex,” Burt went on bluntly as he pushed aside any embarrassment he might feel, knowing his son was feeling it ten times worse. For Kurt to go into any relationship (and dear goodness, let that be a while from now) with such little knowledge would be unfair to both him and his partner. “And not all gay relationships revolve around anal, some people are extremely uncomfortable with either giving or taking or, in some cases, both due to preference or a horrible first experience. There’s some fancy name for what they can do, but it’s basically non-penetrative sex that involves rutting against your partners legs or something while lubricated. It’s probably the safest form of gay sex there is.”

Kurt had his head between his hands and his eyes scrunched together, but he didn’t leave or try to stop him by humming immaturely, so Burt considered it a win and continued. “The thing about sex is that you have to be protected and lubricated, especially if you are going to participate in anal. Due to the, um,” Burt thought about what he had read all those years ago (or those years in the future if you wanted to get technical), “thin, um, membrane in the… rectum, it’s really easy to cause tears or bleeding. It’s why people are always worrying about gays and HIV and AIDS, since it’s easy to contract STDs during anal due to the thin tissue between you and your partner. Proper hygiene, preparing properly and practicing by yourself, along with a lot of lube and a condom can help prevent these things, so if you ever find yourself wishing to have sex, please tell me and I’ll get you some supplies.”

Kurt was cringing in his seat, but he’d finally looked up, even if he wouldn’t meet Burt’s eyes. “What… Gucci this is embarrassing,” he let out a violent breath and twisted his mouth. “Damn, what, uh, how do you, um…” He made a vague motion with his hand that Burt only understood because he knew his son.

“How do you prepare and what do I mean by it?” Burt pressed and his son nodded. “Your anus isn’t large enough usually to take something as large as another man’s penis,” both Hummel’s cringed at the word, “so you have to prep yourself if you decide you want to be the one taking it, which is called, uh, ‘bottoming’. To do so, you must lubricate your fingers, with either lube, lotion or even your spit and insert them up your anus.” Burt’s eye twitched while his son was clenching and unclenching his hands with his face scrunched up in discomfort. “You have to go slow or you risk tearing the tissue, so go one at a time and build up to around, uh, three fingers or more depending on the size of the, yeah.”

“So you just, damn,” Kurt huffed in frustration. “You just, um, pump your fingers in and out of you butt and it’s supposed to feel good?”

“The tissue can be quite sensitive,” Burt commented, “But it would probably feel better when you’re already aroused and masturbating.”

“Masturbating?” Kurt asked innocently and Burt shot him a look that caused him to burst into hysterical laughter that Burt was totally okay with joining in. “Sorry dad, but I was wondering just how far you were willing to go and explain.”

“I would’ve explained if you needed me to, but your innocent look was overdone,” Burt shot his son a smirk and Kurt gave another hysterical peal of laughter. “Do you have anymore questions for now, or should I expect weird things on our computers Internet history?”

“I should be okay for now,” Kurt admitted with a blush. “It will take my mind a little while to absorb this information before I can think of anything else. Besides, I don’t think I’m ready for sex yet anyway.”

“I’m glad you’re waiting. Most guys don’t and it can be a mistake,” Burt said ruefully. His best friend had lost his virginity at 13 and he’d, almost shamefully, admitted that he’d hated it and had been terrified of doing it again; especially if his partner was more experienced then him again. “The first time sucks no matter what, but so long as both you and your partner communicate what you want and are comfortable with each other, it should turn out all right in the end.”

“Thanks dad,” Kurt snarked. “Now please shut up, I want to forget this conversation ever happened for the next three hours. You bringing it up is not helping.”

“Okay, okay,” Burt placated him and picked his cards up again. “Now where were we?”

“You were losing,” Kurt smirked, “and badly at that.”

“Hey!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's important for a kid to be able to talk with their parents about sex and not feel super uncomfortable. A couple of my friends don't have that and they have to go behind their parents backs to buy Plan B (the day-after pill), condoms and pregnancy tests. Hiding it or being uncomfortable can cause them to start having sex before they're ready. They'll regret it or do stupid mistakes like believing that the guy can 'pull out' before he comes and stop the girl from getting pregnant or try out something that isn't safe. I know a mom who lost her son because he and his partner tried out autoerotic asphyxiation and he ended up dying from lack of oxygen without his partner noticing; he was only 15. 
> 
> ..Sorry for the rant, I just think it's an important subject.


	10. Football Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burt and his son watch the Super Bowl and Kurt wonders if his dad is disappointed that he didn't joint the football team.

**February 3 rd, 2008**

 

Burt relaxed into his armchair, beer in hand and TV on as the New York Giants and New England Patriots fought for the right to hold the Super Bowl cup. He had no vested interest in either teams so he was content to sit back and enjoy the game without worrying about his team. Truthfully he’d always been more of a fan of hockey than football (at least when his name was just Alex), but Burt liked football, so he watched every game and tried to get into it. In reality, he was just watching for the commercials… and the half time show.

Kurt sat primly on the ground, his homework splayed in some semblance of order on the coffee table as he worked on it. Despite his hatred of football, he’d watched every game with his dad since his mom had passed away. He knew more about the sport than many of his football obsessed classmates, but it was a reluctant knowledge, just like how Burt knows more about Broadway and various Pop icons than he’d like.

Sipping his beer, enjoying the feel of it flowing down his throat even if it tasted like horse piss, he sighed as another down was called. He wasn’t really paying much attention, his son taking most of his attention. Kurt’s expression had gone from polite disinterest and boredom (not that Burt could blame him, homework and football in one sitting would bore him to tears too) to thoughtful and finally ending on distressed. It was starting to worry him, especially as Kurt would toss him glances every so often; it reminded him of the time before Kurt had come out to him.

“Son,” Burt started as a time out was called, not letting his worry fester, “what’s on your mind?”

Kurt nibbled on his lip and stared hard at the players on the screen, “Are you ever disappointed that I didn’t join football?”

Burt didn’t even pause, his answer automatic, but ver much true“Not really son. You don’t like football, so why would I disappointed that you didn’t join a sport you don’t like?”

“Because you like it,” Kurt pointed out.

“So you’d expect your son or daughter – if you decide to have them – to dance and sing and do musicals because you like them? Would you be disappointed in them if they didn’t?” Burt asked rhetorically before continuing as his son pondered over the question. “Kurt, I love you for you, not how you resemble me. We have plenty in common already; we like cars, eighties music,” Burt smirked as his son cringed, “don’t make that face, you do. We like cooking, though you’re not as good at it as you could be…”

“Dad!” Kurt whined, throwing his dad an annoyed expression.

“You know it’s true,” Burt chuckled, “and baking is our guilty pleasure activity. There’s also Die Hard movies, Harry Potter, Supernatural, laser tag and Call of Duty – which you pretend you don’t play, but we both know you do…” Kurt was full on pouting at this point, but his lips twitched on occasion, giving up his act. “Add anymore and we’d be at each other’s throats.”

Kurt finally laughed, nodding in agreement. “When you put it that way, it seems a silly thing to worry about.”

“That’s ‘cause it is,” Burt mumbled. “I’m proud of you for helping out in the shop and for getting good grades. I’m proud that you are able to be yourself and dress the way you want, even if I have no idea what’s ‘fashionable’. I’m proud of you. You going out to play a game you hate won’t make me any prouder than you getting on a stage and singing your heart out.”

Kurt sniffed and blinked rapidly, but otherwise remained composed. “Thanks dad, I’m plenty proud of you too. Not many guys like you would be able to accept a gay son, yet you always know what to say.”

“That’s good that you think so, ‘cause I have no idea what I’m doing.” He lifted the cap off his head and scratched at his balding head, “I just care what happens to you.”

“Well, just keep caring, it seems to be working,” Kurt smiled at his dad and Burt returned it before turning back to the TV.

“Ooo, commercials are on,” Burt cheered.

Kurt giggled. “Sometimes, I think you only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials,” he teased.

If only his boy knew…


End file.
